Tokyo Trump Fans Gone Wild

Sexy Japanese fans of American politics have had enough.

Yoshi Shimuzu got up to speak in his Trump mask at 2:55 pm, it was the end of a 3 hour rally and people were leaving. Maybe it was the chilly November air. Maybe they had an interracial Tinder date they had to get to. Maybe it was to let people who had been waiting, marching and chanting for three hours a chance to be nearer Trump, spiritually at least.

 

Yoshi's mask was about $30 in a Ueno mask shop, he got it this morning.

 In 2020, public displays of bliss are scarce and fleeting in Japanese cities, Tokyo included. Urban parts of Japan felt like Petri dishes throughout the semi lockdown in April, May and June before degenerating into sudden debate zones over the summer when shit started opening back up. But when Joe Biden claimed victory, Trump supporters had none of the usual “American GIs rape our women in Okinawa!” rhetoric on their minds. As the march started today, they erupted with glee. Chants of “U.S.A.!”, "Kameltoe sucks!" and “Motherfuck Joe Biden!” shook the streets.

 

Droves of frustrated non political types were inconvenienced by the march. They had to wait up to an hour to get across the street.

 

 

The strenuously trendy, Mu -Shu Pork was one of several annoyingly dressed, androgynous vloggers who were hoping to get record views with this controversial parade they endured for their tween fans.

 

 

It’s inaccurate, and rather silly, that the media portray the majority of Trump supporters, especially the women, as sexually frustrated housewives, angry and bitter. Because throughout the evening, the “Oriental deplorables” seemed not just in partially drunk and  good spirits: They were jubilant. Although COVID-19 had taken its toll on the city’s economic activity and part timer's employment, Trump fans still smiled, cheered, laughed, and took selfies with Yoshi in his cheap Trump mask and ill- fitting suit. The crowd danced along to "I'm Proud to be an American",  "Macho Man" and the Saijo Hideki cover of "YMCA" blaring from loudspeakers.

Tokyo police were sweating bullets for fear the Tokyo factions of the Poor Boys, BLM or Antifa would show up to challenge the marchers.

Tokyo Trump fans have spoken!

Maybe it was the event itself that was important, not what was said.It was reported by TikTok users that Melania Trump gave the exact same speech that Yoshi delivered, word for word, at a Pittsburgh rally last month. He declined to comment. In this way, these Trump in Japan rallies are like a poor man's American football tailgate party. The game is just the thing to gather around; it’s the communing with others that is most meaningful. American loving Japanese, expats and wannabes need a team to cheer for, a place to belong.

 

The brisk weather made Bernard's pussy attracting pet lizard almost lifeless.

 

One of the few Westerners in attendance was not happy.

“These conservative Trump loving Asians are dirty girls, Prince. I've seen them looking in their selfie camera, performing strip teases for her social media fans. I had a Tinder match last Wednesday afternoon, I swiped because she was wearing a red MAGA hat. We went straight to a hotel after meeting in front on Shinjuku Donki. She needed to suss me out before going somewhere private with me. She turned out to be a pro- and quite long in the tooth, I'd guess 28 or 29. Not surprising, Tokyo Tinder is full of them targeting white guys here. I offered her 20,000 yen if I could just take some photos of her with the new iPhone pro model I  just got.

 

For a conservative lady she was sure familiar with the sort of photos we see in Japanese men's websites. I took about 50 photos with her clothes on first. Just to make her relax, but she didn't need it.

She got naked quickly. In contrast to her well below average, flattish face, her omanko was a ten. I dropped to my knees to take pictures of it, my camera beeping away- as per Japanese regulations. I'm not entirely satisfied with the battery life on this thing either. I had my charger though- to be extra safe.

Then she used her grubby fingers to open up for me to get an up close view. The she flipped over and put her flat ass up in the air, wiggling her hips seductively. Then she spread her flat cheeks, there was some slight acne there, but nothing to put me off. I put the light on my phone and I was afforded  rather generous view of her entire area, from her dark brown anus and smooth perineum to her half -hardheartedly groomed nest of black pubic hair. I couldn't resist and had a quick taste of her asshole- just a little taste... It tasted of sweaty, salty lemons.

I asked for a quick fuck and she wanted an additional 30,000. I would have done it, but I need the cash for the reptile fair in Ikebukuro I was going to on Saturday. I looked for her here, maybe she'd throw me a sympathy lay cause we share the same anti- China feelings like Trump. She's here, but with some doofy white guy.”

Bernard G, 44. "Wealth Manager" from Montreal.

Today's Stop the Steal rally was not advertised in the press and only spread by being mocked on Twitter.

 

 

Most of the younger women in attendance today were Chinese YouTubers in MAGA hats and sunglasses

"We have to stop the steal, Biden's son has to be kept out of the White House. I've seen the videos of him getting a foot job from the underage Chinese broad, I'm quite jealous, there's a lot of cute Chinese girls here, but they're just making anti-Japanese YouTube videos, or whatever they call their copy of YouTube is over there. There were way more hot girls at the Anti Trump rally in Yoyogi park a couple years ago, but that got a lot of publicity beforehand. I'm pretty disappointed in the talent pool. Older crowd."

'Donald' Takahashi, 39 of Kawasaki

 

 

 

 

"I came here directly from a hard night of drinking and got pretty jacked up on meth before I left home. Jesus Christ, man, I'm fucking wired, Prince. I thought 80,000,000 Joe Biden fans can't be wrong, but the turnout here suggests otherwise, huh? I've got a hard on and breath that smells like an spoiled tuna fish sandwich under this mask.  I'm gonna go straight home and clean my apartment for a few hours after this thing ends."

Masaharu W. "No known occupation" from Fukui prefecture.

 

The usual complaints of wanting the US bases moved far away, so the horny soldiers will stop sexually assaulting locals, were forgotten today.



 

The Japanese are not as trusting the white man's news as they once were.

 

 

The crowd of over 2,500 got dirty looks from bystanders for selfishly disrupting the harmony of late autumn.

 

 

Yoshi took hundreds of selfies with female Trump fans, most were totally unaware.

 

 

 

While Yoshi worked the crowd up into a frenzy, the Japanese media ignored it, probably as ordered.

 

Zany, young Chinese vloggers made the event all about themselves, and will probably have shitloads of views and be seen as heroes back home for exposing this.

 

 

 

Delicious grilled fish, an American favorite was waiting for the hungry protesters at the final event stage in Shimbashi.

 

The Finish line! Fuck Joe Biden, the Tokyo Trump fans and the fake news media.

 

I'm gonna treat myself to one of these Crab & Cheese fried things they were giving away to white people at the end of Yoshi's %100 plagiarized speech.

 

 

 

*Yoshi declined to be interviewed, saying he doesn't talk to reporters without a pussy and The Hairy White Prince's Gay Tokyo was fake news.