Radioacitve Saint Patrick's Day In Tokyo

Saint Patrick's Day 2011 in Tokyo from two perspectives,




Unlike the cowardly foreigners, these hard workers carry on as usual despite the food shortages, blackouts and radioactive cloud on it's way to town....

                            
                            The Japanese:

“The boss called and sent me into the station to try and round up some foreigners to come into the shop. We made a lot of this horrible, corned beef and cabbage for the drinkers, I have about 5 trays of the stuff. It's a free buffet now since no one turned up, and we've got a lot left. No one came in though. The place holds about 45 and we got 2 people in there.

Most of the other bars in this area are closed. Earlier today, the mayor was talking about shutting off the power for all of Tokyo tonight, that was really bad for business. This is usually one of our busiest days of the year and we got only two customers, one is from Ireland, he's really in the holiday spirit too! Five staff are on. We had nine scheduled but the others left Tokyo because they are selfish and don't care about the business. I have lost all respect for them.”

Sadly, these two Chinamen are not coming upstairs to the pub. They're just looking for the airport bus so they can get the hell out of Tokyo ASAP!

I promised Yoshiaki I would come up for a pint of green beer if he could get a few more people for me to drink with. He is not allowed to leave the station until he gets 15 customers into the Chinese owned, Paddy O'Flanagan's Ale House, where he has been working as a manager since they opened in 2006. After about 10 minutes the frustrated working man openly told me,

“There are hardly any white people in Tokyo today.... Only Turks and we don't really want them in the shop. They don't drink, they harass the girls and staff and frighten away other customers who spend money. We had a sign that said no Turks allowed before but some regular customers complained that it was racist. I said 'it's not racist! It's rule!'  After about a week we got tired of hearing complaints so we took it off the door.”

Yoshiaki is right. Almost all the potential customers got the fuck out of Tokyo over the past few days. They are not diligent workers like the locals. They will not be welcomed back to their workplaces easily.

 March 17th, 2011, 6:55 pm, slim pickings for customers. Tonight, Shibuya station is only hosting diligent, loyal workers and the mentally ill.

“ I just want to get out of the station and back to the pub already. This nuclear radiations, earthquake-panic nonsense is killing me. For fuck's sake....”
The Irish:

Mitchel's  shriveled, Irish cock is like Benjamin Button. The older he gets, the more baby-like it becomes.


As I promised Yoshiaki, I went in for a couple drinks and met the 34 year old, portly Irishman, Mitchel McBride. He has been looking forward to St. Patrick's day in Tokyo since last St. Patrick's day in Tokyo.

"I got laid this time last year,not much of a looker. She was a much older, ugly bird I met pretty late at the Dubliner's in Shinjuku. I'd seen her there before and she was usually with this scary, old, bald British guy who always hangs out near the bar there. She dresses like she's young though.

I got to meet her by chance outside the bathrooms. She was aggressive and spoke English pretty well, as most ugly, older birds who hang out in Irish or English pubs do.  She said she was 45 but I reckon about 50. Looked older than my mum. She was annoying, kept calling me ' Bitchell' and cracking herself up.



Sunshine City in Ikebukruo got a little bashed apart, but the timing of the earthquake was really terrible for the Irish pubs in Japan

After I bought her a couple more Guinness pints and a shot, we took a cab back to my old gaijin guest house in Nerima. I was pretty drunk too and we both passed out a few minutes after getting back to my room. I woke up cause she actually pissed the bed.

It was really nice, at first, all warm, I was half asleep and kind of into it- not the piss, the warm feeling. Then as it cooled off it got damn uncomfortable. Tokyo in March is still pretty bloody cold it is! She was still out of it and soaked in piss - so I took off her clothes and had my way with her. It was hard to get it up cause I drank so much but after a few minutes I had half a hard - on. By squeezing the base, like a cock ring, you know those things? Then I could get it in. Foreplay with me is non existent, I like my sex like I like my websites, with the skip intro option! I don't think she  even knew nothing anyway".

He takes a sip of his beer and high fives me.



Usually there are dozens of vomit pools to dodge. This year I had a hard time finding even one.

"I saw her there again a few weeks later and she pretended she had no idea who I was. Maybe she didn't? Maybe she did. Acting like her pussy was made out of gold or something. Granted, sex with me is about as exciting and breathtaking as watching Avatar 3D on an iPhone. I was hoping I might meet a new lady friend tonight. This town is fucking dead, man. All my friends left town. Maybe I should have too... You wanna try Roppongi with me? I'm feeling lucky! It can't get much worse than this "

Oh, it will. It will.




Back down below after walking me to the pub.  Menus in hand, forced to wear a green blazer and trying to meet his impossible quota, Yoshiaki scans a nearly empty Shibuya Station for some possible foreign customers.



Fuck the radioactivity, Saint Patrick, the short-dicked, drunken, Irish date rapist assholes, the whiney foreigners worried about radiation and the shitty Japanese/Chinese - run bars that serve shitty Irish food that I would never wanna eat even if I was an Irishman!




I'm gonna treat myself to some greazy TenYa!