Tokyo Game Show 2018: The Exhibitors vs. the Booth Babes
The inside scoop on the Tokyo Game Show is that the first two days
are where the business is, deals are made and the promotion takes
place. All the money is made and the publicity is generated. Sure,
some shitty little game bloggers get in with a press pass they don't
deserve, and some companies give away passes to employees, who may
sell them or give them away to ham and eggers with no power.
Foreign guests were outraged to find Saturday's tickets had been sold out by 10am. Cunning Japanese fans bought their tickets well in advance.
Foreign guests were outraged to find Saturday's tickets had been sold out by 10am. Cunning Japanese fans bought their tickets well in advance.
Indeed,
Saturday and Sunday suck. Open to the public. Many exhibitors pack up
and leave their space- even though they had to pay for 4 full days. They let in all the Sunday fathers, zit faced teenagers, Akihabara perverts, losers, miscreants, working class Joe's who can't
afford more than 3 or 4 titles a year. It's so crowded that one must wait hours to watch a crummy demo. All of the cool free swag is not given to these chumps. They even let a lot of the hotter booth girls go home with pay, if they agree to dates with management. The B and C grade gals get no such breaks.
" It's a long way from San Jose but worth it! I'm swimming in pussy here!"
Calvin “ C.C.” Callahan, 36 is divorced after a rushed marriage at 23. “ I got married cause she was one of the first women who treated me like a human being. I thought I better snag this one or else I might not ever get laid again.”
After a $100,000 wedding, things turned sour.
" She started treating me like shit and openly cheating on me with a Mexican guy"
Calvin got divorced in 2016,
“ I guess I was working really hard on this company and I didn't really give her much attention. She put on about 60 pounds in a year and then left me without any warning. She took the Prius and condo, It's OK but I still gotta pay the all the mortgage until 2025 then she has to sell it or take it over. I guess I get the last laugh cause now I'm free to go out with Rui or Yua if I want”
Calvin “ C.C.” Callahan, 36 is divorced after a rushed marriage at 23. “ I got married cause she was one of the first women who treated me like a human being. I thought I better snag this one or else I might not ever get laid again.”
After a $100,000 wedding, things turned sour.
" She started treating me like shit and openly cheating on me with a Mexican guy"
Calvin got divorced in 2016,
“ I guess I was working really hard on this company and I didn't really give her much attention. She put on about 60 pounds in a year and then left me without any warning. She took the Prius and condo, It's OK but I still gotta pay the all the mortgage until 2025 then she has to sell it or take it over. I guess I get the last laugh cause now I'm free to go out with Rui or Yua if I want”
Calvin was full of confidence and had high expectations on the eve of day one.
"Chad, Hyuon Suk and both Dylans told me my baby blues would send the Japanese girls into a frenzy at the show. To them, sucking dick is just like shaking hands. Gotta be careful though, they have this super Gonorrhea over here that's not curable. I bought some American sized condoms, so I'm set. Also, 5'5'' isn't even short in Japan."
He's been looking forward to the Tokyo Game Show for over 20 years,
“ I used to read about it in Gamepro and Electronic Gaming Monthly as a kid- I thought Japan seemed so cool and I might even be considered tallish over there, I'm only 5'5'' so I don't do well with white girls. The Japanese girls I see in games and the movies are so cute and like white guys like me. I've been looking forward to these 4 days for years!”
Calvin and his small, five man startup company spent 1/3 of their annual budget to get a booth at this years show.
“Well, we paid airfare for 2 here, that was like $2200 and our room across the street is like $880 for the 4 days. We worked in a per diem of 100$ a day too. The booth and crap related to that cost about $15,000 for the 4 days. We used an agency to get the girls and they are about $600 each per day- I don't know how much they keep but that's what the agency charges.
They also add all these other charges so I'm in the hole for like 30 grand from this trip. It's important for us to be here though, we want to give Japanese consumers a sneak peak of our gold plated cables that are made for the Xbox One and plasma TVs, we also have virtual software that will help c++ designers program flash games for the Blackberry.
It doesn't matter, every trade show I worked, it was more about networking than actually selling anything. Trade business cards and literature with everybody. Be sociable with everybody. Go to whatever social events are planned-even if non of the booth babes come. Rub elbows and make contacts. That leads to future business deals. Have fun and try to get laid."
Calvin is very protective of his girls and laughs at watching all the men slip them cards, ask for their emails and @Twitter handles.
Sadly, the sexy, 23 year old , Yua is not too impressed with her client today,
“ Yada! No way am I going out with that guy, nothing worse than being facefucked by a small, bearded man against your will! That guy looks like he jerks off in front of schools”
An 8 year old boys uses the " Where's the toilet?" line as an chance to practice his English with a paunchy, bearded foreigner
“He wears those horrible Dockers pants that look like he's wearing a giant diaper- where the hell does he get his clothes?”
Rui was also disgusted,
“I only go out with rich, cool, older guys. Usually married banker types. These camerakozo and computer dorks don't do it for me.... they're actually all repulsive. I swear these geeks must have taken thousands of pics of us this weekend.”
Fans Toshi and Hiro came all the way from Osaka to give Rui and Yua the heavy photo scrapbooks they put together. They were left behind in the dressing room- unopened.
“They should be paying us way more, no one gives a shit about whatever the fuck he's selling. I don't even know what it is and I've been here 3 days- no one else seems to care either. He just sits there like a creepy statue looking at us with his stupid water bottle. Why is he so dehydrated anyway? I think a few people ask him where the bathroom is but other than that he just stares at us.”
“They should be paying us way more, no one gives a shit about whatever the fuck he's selling. I don't even know what it is and I've been here 3 days- no one else seems to care either. He just sits there like a creepy statue looking at us with his stupid water bottle. Why is he so dehydrated anyway? I think a few people ask him where the bathroom is but other than that he just stares at us.”
By the end of day 2, Calvin is becoming very critical of his hired help.
“ Well, that Rui has weird, club thumbs and her eyes are a little too close together for me, Yua is pigeon toed and seems to be a bitch, she pretends she can't speak English but I saw her talking to a big group of black guys a few hours ago and she sounded like a native! Fucking bitch. ' Oh, me no speaky the Engrish', Fuck her right in the pussy! That skinny lying bitch should be president of the 'Itty Bitty Titty Committee'.
I invited them to my hotel restaurant for dinner after the show and they said they had another job to go to. She also wouldn't even give me her email – she said it was against the agencies rules. In my land, we ask for the sale. These cunts are at my trade show for a reason. And it's not to window shop. The worst thing they can do is say no. But that's salesmanship 101.”
This day 2 attendee has never heard of Xbox One.
The angry, red faced Calvin is very disappointed after living on peanut butter sandwiches all year to come,
" It seems that no one in Japan even uses Blackberries or Windows Mobile! And the Xbox One? No one knows what it is over here, not even on most Japanese's radar....They only want shit made by Sony or Nintendo. I think it's racism against the US. Anytime some Japanese idiot programmer says the term 'cloud processing' as if it makes processing faster or better, I have to stop myself from laughing in their flat face. Nothing that any average asshole has access to is going to improve your processing speed due to your 'cloud processing'.
What fucking waste of time this was! Fuck Japan! Why do they even call it the Tokyo Game Show?!?! I hear Tokyo is like an hour away by express train! Shit Chiba is where we are. There's nothing to see out in this area, fuck! Those stuck up bitches made a lot of money working for me and act all high and mighty. I bet they've both got pussies full of warts. I hardly even networked, everybody only wanted to see my girls. No one gave a flying shit about me or my products."
Both ladies suddenly spoke perfect English and forgot about the no email exchange rule when these video game lovers showed up
I invited them to my hotel restaurant for dinner after the show and they said they had another job to go to. She also wouldn't even give me her email – she said it was against the agencies rules. In my land, we ask for the sale. These cunts are at my trade show for a reason. And it's not to window shop. The worst thing they can do is say no. But that's salesmanship 101.”
The angry, red faced Calvin is very disappointed after living on peanut butter sandwiches all year to come,
" It seems that no one in Japan even uses Blackberries or Windows Mobile! And the Xbox One? No one knows what it is over here, not even on most Japanese's radar....They only want shit made by Sony or Nintendo. I think it's racism against the US. Anytime some Japanese idiot programmer says the term 'cloud processing' as if it makes processing faster or better, I have to stop myself from laughing in their flat face. Nothing that any average asshole has access to is going to improve your processing speed due to your 'cloud processing'.
What fucking waste of time this was! Fuck Japan! Why do they even call it the Tokyo Game Show?!?! I hear Tokyo is like an hour away by express train! Shit Chiba is where we are. There's nothing to see out in this area, fuck! Those stuck up bitches made a lot of money working for me and act all high and mighty. I bet they've both got pussies full of warts. I hardly even networked, everybody only wanted to see my girls. No one gave a flying shit about me or my products."
Yua and Rui both collected about 15 kilos worth of “gifts” from the camera boys who follow them from trade show to trade show.
“ We only keep the bags, nice jewelry and cool shit, I throw most of it out or leave it for the ugly girls who clean our break room, I don't need that crap. Poems, photo albums that they probably jerked off on.... gross.”
By day 2 the smile is long gone. Growing more bitter by the hour, " Those two stuck up cunts don't know what they're missing out on".
Both ladies hate working the annual game show.
“ The first two days are fun, but Saturday and Sunday are the absolute worst event I do all year, the men here are the rock bottom of Japan. Complete dorks ! All the girls really HATE doing this show, fucking annoying. Some of our friends refuse to work this show, even though it's an easy $2500-3000 for the 4 days. I only did it cause I can get out at 6 and back in Tokyo by 7:30. I feel so violated after a day there, I have to scrub myself with a wire brush when get home.”
“ The first two days are fun, but Saturday and Sunday are the absolute worst event I do all year, the men here are the rock bottom of Japan. Complete dorks ! All the girls really HATE doing this show, fucking annoying. Some of our friends refuse to work this show, even though it's an easy $2500-3000 for the 4 days. I only did it cause I can get out at 6 and back in Tokyo by 7:30. I feel so violated after a day there, I have to scrub myself with a wire brush when get home.”
