Voices from Tokyo's Knockout Game

The Knockout game craze that's sweeping the white world has arrived in Tokyo. Tokyo's MMA enthusiasts wearing Affliction shirts, sportsmen, NEETS, Headbangers, punk rockers, Freeters and students from shitty high schools, colleges and universities are as mad as hell and won't take it anymore. The entitled older assholes who have robbed their generation of a future will pay- and it's fucking hilarious as well. 

 

The Player

After 30 seconds of unintelligible banter, cherubic metalhead, Sataro Fukiage (24) of Chiba, sucker punched the handsome older gentleman who got lippy with him. The busybody took offense to his long hair and his Yamaha metal axe slung over his shoulder.

Triumphant! This heavy metal rock freak fan has little fists of stone.

Many of the Japanese youth I spoke to say the game looks like a lot of fun and will try it too. What do you think of the critics?

“ Fuck them! I only make like 110,000 a month before tax. Have you tried living on that? I have to stay on my grandmother's sofa in Matsudo with that shit pay. The old cunt gives me a midnight curfew too. Her house, her rules. You probably pay like 100,000 in just your medical insurance, right? Trying to make a living as a musician in Tokyo, especially a metal one is impossible. I think sites like Facebook and your RARETREATS attract a lot of people who are a bit narcissistic and don't have a lot of real life experience, and whose life may not really be going very well. 

Probably due something like lack of money, a romantic life, a lack of real friendships, or general insecurity. And when you get all of those people in one place, like a talk show or online forum, they just start feeding into each other and reminding each other that they're victims. They're not. They're card carrying, pussy morons. All of the guys I've knocked out are random assholes who are too busy minding my business to watch that shit on TV. It's really fun too.”

 
Yolked and most likely suffering a broken jaw and a concussion, this poor man's Asian George Clooney winces in agony and humiliation.

Dag! Down for the count... . someone should call 119!

How long have you been doing this?

"Oh, a few years now. It really got fun when I got my iPhone 4 with the really good high definition video. We like to film each other doing it and post them on Twitter. The Samsung Galaxy 4 and Note are also really good at video for knockouts. We all like Apple or Samsung products, the Sony and Sharp are shitty with terrible battery life."

So the American and Korean smartphones are the reason?

"Somewhat. The battery always dies right when you need it with Japanese phones. I had the Sony Experia last year. What a piece of shit, the battery would last for only thirty minutes at a time. I had Docomo replace that shit like three times too and it made no difference. Get a foreign smartphone if you know whats good for you. It's more fun sharing the videos and exchanging comments that the actual knockout sometimes. The video lives forever and the asshole I knocked out can't go around saying how he fought off a bunch of Yakuza, American soldiers or Chinese gangs, cause it's online for everyone to see. Out in Chiba we like to drink beers, smoke bones and kick ass."

Do you do any type of training to make sure you can knock them out effectively?

“Yeah, at work. I work part time in a restaurant kitchen, so I punch the shit out of the bags of rice and meats to tenderize it. It's fun and like killing two birds with one stone. I draw little targets and faces on the bags. I try to nail them on the sweet spot, right on the jaw hinge to knock 'em out clean. If I miss the guy might start screaming of fight back. He may know Judo or something. A lot of older Japanese guys do ya know? I only use my right hand, it's for strumming. I don't want to break my left cause I'm the lead guitarist and can't afford to miss any practices cause of my hobby.

 I've got a pretty good track record though. I'm like 12 for 16 as of now.  My drummer,Yoji, he's 2 for 10, what a lame ass! He never practices. Some of these fuckers and African guys have really hard heads. Just last Monday night, I cracked this old faggot near Yoyogi station but good. He looked at me all bugged eyed and ran off like a bat out of hell, screaming like a banshee.

No cops around, I guess they were busy hassling people for their bicycle registrations. We all cracked up for a few minutes, we couldn't even run it was so funny. It's on my private Youtube page if you wanna check it out. Twitter too, # Tokyoknockoutkings. Check it soon before they take it down.”

The Victim

Lights out series!

Salaryman, Genzo Kurita (33) of Higahsi Nakano got knocked the fuck out last night just before midnight (the first victim refused to be interviewed by me).

What happened last night?

"Well, I was having dinner in Lumine EST with Satomi from HR. She really can't pull off that attitude she has. She either needs to get hotter or be nicer. She got all pissy and cold with me when I asked for 3,000 towards the 14,000 yen check.  She works in HR and knows how low my salary is. Some women like being in control and having the power, and actively seek out submissive men. That bitch told Ebihara san in sales that I was shy and boring- I actually just can't stand her. She ordered a whole bottle of wine for herself. I had one goddamn draft beer. I'm a weak drinker."

I mean after the dinner. What happened after you split up?

"Oh, I was just getting a cab outside Shinjuku Station East gate and this long haired guy in black asked me which way to the Seibu Shinjuku station. Stupidly, I turned to point it out and the next thing I knew a bunch of cabbies are shaking me awake on the ground. 

The taxi drivers refused to take Genzo in the cab as he had shit himself.

 

They told me the guy who hit me with an uppercut had his friends filming it and had hysterics when I went down. To make matters worse, I soiled my new suit pants while I was out. They said I was unresponsive for about a minute. They asked if they should call an ambulance, but I refused and just went home."

How did you get home?

"By train. I made the last train out of Shinjuku. My headache was too bad and I had a pantload full of diarrhea on, I couldn't walk the 35 minutes in the cold. I didn't want to trouble anyone, especially with the mess I made in my trousers. I was really nauseous and threw up waiting for the train. I also had this really bad ringing in my ear that's now getting a little better. I fell asleep on the floor in my ruined suit as soon as I got home."

It seems like this was your fault for not being more alert.

 "I agree. My mother just thought I drank too much and I told her it was true. There's no shame in that in our culture. She took off my clothes and put me in the tub when she found me. The house was freezing all day cause she had to open the windows to let the house air out from my pants. I was a bit ashamed to be so naive. I may have to go to a doctor this weekend if my headache and double vision don't improve."

Are you OK?

"No, I hope no one from work sees the video online later. I might lose my job for being out so late on a weekday. I'm officially a 'non- essential employee' according to Satomi, she took great delight in telling me that over dinner."

 

 The Critic

The old creep was walking around Shinjuku like he used to be a badass. I gave him dirty look with clenched fists and he looked at me with cowardliness and friendship. He turned out to be an expert on the knockout game boom.

If you tried to hit him he'd take off his shirt and offer to let you titty fuck him instead.

Recently retired,Toshima University sociology professor, Kurokani Tatsuo (69) has never been in a fight in his life. He has some good insight into the growing, fun fad, though.

Why the sudden rise in the Knockout Game in Tokyo?

“Mainly because there is a clear winner and loser in this game. In the player's feeble minds, they quite literally see nothing really wrong with random beatings, because it is simply what chimps and dogs do as a form of pack dominance. We Japanese live to be part of a group. This forms the basis of most interactions between the species, and their constant confusion and insistences of innocence after brutally attacking someone outside of their aimless, suburban boring lives.

Many of these brutish, young Japanese men of voluntary social isolation with limited experience of real world interaction and poor social skills. These guys are narcissistic and non-empathetic. A belief that personal value and esteem can be earned through acts of retribution and random violence.”

So you are saying these knockouts are being done by nerds?

“Yes. But not exclusively. Jocks seem to love it too, especially high school baseball players. Many of these young men, and it's always young men, are enthusiastic about pornography and video games involving guns, like the great Biohazzard series by Konami and the American Call Of Duty games or the Grand Theft Auto V game. Mostly the guys who prefer the Xbox to the Playstation. Sony Playstation games are often much less violent and more family friendly. Nintendo is even more so. We need to keep a close eye on the youth who choose the violent American Xbox games over our domestic cute ones.”

So you think that foreign video games are responsible?

“No. Listen to me- it's the American mass media in general. The Walking Dead has desensitized many young people to violence. They kill about 25 zombies or people on average on that awful show. These punks feel anger resulting form a strong sense of persecution and inability to get full time jobs. A lot of the knockouts in the Ikebukuro area can be blamed on the Saitama losers who come down here to play. They don't do this in their own suburban area- but in the city there is a sense of detachment.

A heightened sense of vigilance and paranoia about crime and violence fueled by the huge consumption of your American media that focuses on crime and violence. Worldstarhiphop.com is very popular here and the violent videos are regularly tweeted by Japanese celebrities, and often featured, analyzed and glamorized on our talk shows.”

So is this the fault of the USA or kids from the suburbs?

“ Both. We Japanese usually have low self esteem and look up to the USA for our pop culture trends. So this game just follows the patterns. The punishment is also very weak. If caught, the culprit will be taken to the station and forced to write an apology letter and pay a sum that both parties negotiate. Usually, for a case of simple battery like this, the fee would be from 10,000-50,000 yen. Sadly, Jail time will not happen unless the assailant is a foreigner and the victim a Japanese.”

Fuck Sataro, his drummer Koji, Genzo and Professor Kurokani. I'm gonna eat a cheap meal in honor of Japan's real working class heroes.