Real Men Of Japan: A Chikan Gets Busted

 

“W ill you listen to that big dog barking at me! That cunt is well over 30! That's evidence enough that I didn't do it... Basically if a gal has ever rewound a video tape she's too old to tempt me. I don't even think she was a Japanese. A lot of Asians give themselves Japanese names but I usually can tell. I should have just run but that whore was hanging onto me for dear life when I tried to slip into the crowd. If my company hears about this I'm gonna get shit canned- another reason I'll just admit it and pay her the damn apology money. I didn't do it but I gotta fess up and say I did or I'll be really fucked”.

Masamune is having a shit night.

I met Masamune Gomi (54), of Toshima last Saturday night. He was “falsely accused” of groping the sexy 35 year old Hiroko.

"Look at her ass.  It's underdeveloped to put it politely.  Ask any of my friends or my wife, they'll tell you I love a big, meaty ass. One I can sink my teeth into and really go to town on.  She's bitching about how I pinched her ass.  What  a crock of bullshit! Why is she dressed so sexily anyway.  She wanted something to happen. No woman leaves home looking like that without having some ulterior motive.  Maybe she was ovulating and horny and all emotional...I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time again".

The Yamanote Line is a feast of temptations: long necks, hairless midriffs, lovely arms,slender legs, smooth necks, pert breasts and a cornucopia of ripe buttocks in all sizes..... And for small percentage of chikan ( who prefer male to male groping), strong abs, lots of penises, in many sizes- from extras small to the extremely rare, jumbo sized. Some with foreskins- some without. Tokyo's commuters all feel the urge to touch the forbidden fruits on the packed trains but most of them show restraint. But late at night, alcohol loosens the inhibitions of the normally timid- and shit happens.

Upon closer inspection, Hiroko does have a flat ass.

Back in the 80's and 1990's, the covert nature of commuter groping has its advantages in a society which is often happy to ignore what it didn't see, and where the pressure to maintain outward harmony often makes it easier to suffer in silence than to make a scene, and be mocked and recorded by some dick with an iPhone. Today's generation of young men have many other safe outlets to fulfill their desires.

Pornography and self abuse have increased since the 1990's.

Times are tough for Japan's horny men. A  recent Keio University study estimates that 72% of Japanese men between 16 and 68 are addicted to pornography. This has increased from 1999 from when it was only 50%. 1999 also saw the passage of a Basic Law for Gender Equality, and an Equal Employment Opportunity Law. A largely ineffective anti-stalking law was passed in 2001.

 This was a response in someways to the huge success of the charming Samu Yamamoto, the author of the 1996 bestsellers Diary of a Chikan, and Peeper. In 1998 he came up with Confessions of a Chikan. These books were full of pointers and advice for dealing with the Japanese women's psychology while committing these offenses. 

This station worker has probably witnessed many escape attempts.

When his books were published, he became a cult hero among the millions of Japanese male commuters- but they also drew the attention of the growing Womyn's Studies types ( most of whom you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place) ,who were completely outraged. Yamamoto now writes about the sex industry for various magazines. Even his sexy young wife, whom he met by molesting on the subway, thinks he is just a great man.

“There are three types of chikan,"  says Yuki Kakizaki ( 41), an obese female station staff who works at the counseling corner in a middle sized Tokyo station.

"some of them do it half by accident – and when they're caught once, their shame is so great that they'll never do it again, kind of like shoplifters you Westerners deal with. Then we have the high profile guys, like the ones who work at famous companies in management or universities, or for the media, they're used to getting their way and respect from sexy young women , so they feel entitled because they get away with it at the workplace.  Also, for all intents and purposes, the mythical female chikan does not exist.

But then there are those who get a real pleasure from it, the compulsive chikan,they are not given the opportunities of the more successful type of guys I just mentioned and they are harder to cure: we see the same creeps busted over and over. Some of them have no chance to interact with women at all in their daily lives. The trains and the commute are a real paradise for them. A crowded train is a highlight of the day for these guys".

The year end, bonenkai parties are just around the corner, With no sense of shame, he talks with excitement about the holidays.

"There are lots of year-end parties and many slutty women get drunk," Masamune said. "So there will be plenty of good opportunities for the real chikan."

Masamune has some tips for the men who have to public transportation in Japan

“The men who are accused have a few options.  The best is to run- but it's risky. A lot of guys do it and get away with it every year. It's natural instinct if you are actually guilty.  The fight or flight response, you have to expect to get caught with this type of hobby. You should go over the tracks rather than through the station. The staff aren't permitted to pursue you if you run onto the tracks. It is dangerous so it really depends on how much you have to lose.  The subways are much, much harder- you'll have to run into the  dark tunnels and it's scary. Much harder to get out undetected too, not impossible though. Any man with a small flashlight on his keyring may be expecting this. Some new smartphones also have an app to make the phone a flashlight.

Experienced chikan know the escape routes of all the stations on their commutes.

 It's a real problem for the groping enthusiast as many of Tokyo's hotter women use the subway system instead of the JR.  Anyway, you'll have to look for a quiet area to slip out undetected, this is hard because everyone is going to be watching. You have to be in good shape and you might have to jump from an unsafe distance to get down safely. Some men have died or been seriously injured using this method. 

Trying your Parkour skills in real life while drunk and in a cheap suit are a bad idea. I have heard of amazing feats done by fleeing men though. Fear is a great motivation for the body to do some incredible acrobatic stunts.
There are some websites that show the best spots to getaway from the authorities and those bitches who accuse thousands of men each year.  

Shimbashi station is a real motherfucker to escape from. One of the toughest on the Yamanote Line due to the height and lack of shit to grab onto.

You'll also have to find another way home for a that night and about a week after. I've had a hard time explaining to the wife why I was spending the night at some shit station like Nishi Nippori when I had to be at the shit job early the next day. Change your winter coat, get a severe haircut and wear a flu mask until they forget about you

The railway staff is not legally allowed to pursue suspects onto the tracks. It's best to have several escape options for each station.

What about if I don't want to risk life and limb?

Well, another good- if not the best option is to admit you did it immediately an act repentant. This is only good if you are a sad sack or regular working class schlub. This is the scenario the authorities want. The staff will try to convince the accuser to settle it in the station office. Usually a strong written apology and about 50,000-300,000 yen is enough to settle it. The quicker the better too. The less people involved the better... Get out of there, Don't argue. Act sorry and ashamed. If they know you're acting they'll call the cops.

Finding a target who will keep her mouth shut is a skill that is more difficult to master.

 

That's scandoulous!

"Most Japanese women know about this method and certain unscrupulous ones will falsely accuse men to get a payout.  Some older broads who've worked in the water business and are past their prime are famous for this. They hate men too. My neighbor's daughter has done this scam about 10 times in the past couple years. She has quite few designer bags to show for it too. She is a pretty attractive little number, so I suspect some of the accusations have been real.

 Also, If you are any type of successful person it's very important to do this quickly. If the police get involved your company will be notified and you'll be put in the papers.  If you choose this option you can probably be done with the whole thing in a hour. So, I recommend you just admit to it- guilty or not, so you can get on with your life. 

If your famous you may get put in the news too! Japanese news love to put stories of big shots who get accused of groping. People love reading and gossiping about that shit. Some NHK  TV director got nabbed about a month ago, it was all over the news. I can only imagine how much his life has changed since then!"

Showing off your cute pet on the train is a better way to meet and seduce  female commuters.

What about the guys who just didn't do it? Is there another way out?

"The final option is to deny it. This is the absolute worst thing you can do nowadays. This is what most novices do.  If you deny, the cops are called and you are arrested. You'll be taken away and put in a holding cell, until at least noon the next day. Your family, landlord and company will be called and told of your arrest. The conditions in the holding cell are pretty bad but you won't be sexually assaulted like you would in the US. That's very rare in Japan and usually only done in the national prisons.

 After you are processed, you'll be interrogated by a few cops who will try to make you sign a confession.  At this point your life is fucked and you're out of work. You can sign, write a heartfelt apology to the victim and pay the apology money- which has now increased to 200,000 yen minimum! You'll also be on the hook for a lawyer if you don't want the crummy public defender they give you. Never take the free one either.  They're working with the cops, usually.  Once your out after the trial you'll be a pariah. There's rarely actual prison time, but you'll have criminal record and have a hard time finding work or an apartment again" .

What if the victim won't accept your apology?

"Oh, they will. If not the cops go to work on them too. They can't leave either until the whole thing is settled somewhat. She'll take the cash and apology if she knows what's good for her. If you still deny it, you'll be held for up to 23 days until you admit it. You will only be allowed to bathe (in a group) twice a week. You can't sleep either. You gotta just sit there on your one tatami sized space and talk to the other losers in there with you... It's torture.  

If you still deny it (and by this point 95% have admitted it after the 2nd day), after the 23 days,  you'll be released under your lawyer's supervision until your case goes to court. Oh, and you probably won't be allowed to work because you've lost your job. After you go to court you have about a 2% chance of being found not guilty. It does happen but the victory is bittersweet. Even if you win your company has disowned you.

Basically, don't get arrested. If you do, and the charge is not a felony, admit to it, apologize and pay the amount the police advise so the victim will drop it.That's how the Japanese legal system works in a nutshell".

That's very helpful for all men who use the train. 
 

"Oh, also, try to avoid the Saikyo Line that goes into Saitama everyDecember. There's big campaign set up by the Metropolitan Police Department to increase arrests that month. They want to pad their stats before the new year to make it look like they are all effective. Some police even admit that a lot of girls want to be groped. They feel ugly if they're not and proud if they are. With the influx of mouthy Chinese and Korean broads it's hard to know who's actually up for it, non Japanese are always claimers. They've really fucked shit up for us".

I don't know nuttin. I'm just trying to eat my station udon without any charges.