SUICIDE STATISTICS FOR JAPAN IN 2006 *
Oy vey, overworked and underpaid. Life fucking sucks....
HANGING 12,438
DRUGS 63
POISONING 1,256
GAS POISONING 1,059
ELECTROCUTION 77
IMMOLATION 888
EXPLOSION 1
SHOOTING 46
EDGED TOOL 613
DROWNING 1,822
JUMPING(FROM HEIGHT) 2,210
THROWING(INTO TRAIN,ETC) 1,188
OTHER 406
UNSPECIFIED 37
TOTAL 22,104
* source: Japan National Police Agency
I think drugs would be much higher but they're too damn hard to get here. The train is my personal fave unless I am directly involved as this Weds am in Tokyo was fucked up again, some retired geezer who was suffering from a headache for like a month straight snuffed himself by jumping in front of the train at Ueno station. That motherfucker caused me to be 45 mins late for the shit job. At least I had a nice warm seat to relax in as other old fucks stood on their varicose vein covered chicken legs. The prick had to do it at 8:15 in the morning as I was on me merry way to work
.
Oh my
What the hell did this retired creep have to do it during the morning rush for? He told his miserable wife he was going to take his own life cause he couldn't take it anymore. Well I can take it anymore either!! And I don't think my Japanese friends can take much more of what life in Tokyo rolls out as well. Look around, People are fucking depressed here. The last time I got a smile on the street was from some white fruit who thought I looked good in my tight jeans that showed off my long, slender legs and firm belly.
People were outraged and taking much joy in the clean up efforts of very annoyed JR staff at the end of their 12 hour shifts..
Diggin' it
As an added bonus some other old bastard in Nagoya rolled his wheelchair off the platform into the path of an oncoming express train at almost the same exact time!!!! It was in Nagoya so no one really gives a shit I would have to assume. Where the hell do they have to go down there anyway? The Aichi Expo is long gone and I don't think any people down there work unless its for Toyota.
The Complete Manual of Suicide（Japanese: 完全自殺マニュアル) is a book written by Wataru Tsurumi. First published on the the great holiday of 4th of July, 1993 and sold more than one million copies. This feelgood 198 pager has graphic descriptions and analysis on tons of suicide methods such as overdosing, hanging, jumping, carbon monoxide poisoning, etc. Moreover, this is not a suicide manual for the terminally ill. There's no preference shown for painless or dignified ways of ending one's life. Tsurumi does however recommend emptying your bowel's and bladder before you end it all so you don't evacuate in your pants. This would slow down cleanup efforts and piss off the poor slob in a totally creepy job to begin with. The book provides matter-of-fact assessment of each method in terms of the pain it causes, effort of preparation required, the appearance of the body and lethality.
Tsurumi covered 11 categories of suicide methods:
Overdosing
Hanging
Self-defenestration
Slashing the wrist and carotid artery
Car collision
Gas Poisoning
Electrocution
Drowning
Self-immolation
Freezing
Miscellaneous
All of the chapters begin with a an Excel graph rating the method chosen in terms of: pain , effort of preparation required, the appearance of the body after you are found, the disturbance it may cause for others and its deadliness. He rates all the ways in skulls! The train gets the highest rating. Part of it must be the joy in the inconvenience you are causing all others on the train line, It's actually is kind of empowering knowing how much thousands of humanoid clock punchers are cursing me and my shit life rather than being found on my shower floor by the landlord after I don't pay the rent for 6 months.
This book is way better than 1991's Final Exit: The Practicalities of Self-Deliverance and Assisted Suicide for the Dying, That was a real snoozefest, it focused on planning and carrying out "self-deliverance", from the decision of whether and when one is ready to die, to the careful protection of anyone assisting like poor Jack Kervorkian, to the legal and financial preparations for nagging, cunt wife and shitty family that made you do it in the first place. Most of this overhyped and controversial for no reason book of consists of the advantages and disadvantages and the processes for a variety of suicide methods.
I am misery
One method absent from both was the old intentional car wreck, It would be great to get loaded and go out in flames on the autobahn or some shit. How many times was some asshole at your house too drunk to drive and you made him go home rather than letting him crash on your couch? Fuck that, get in you car and go home. I don't need any drunken house guest messing up my bathroom. Wipe the puke off your shirt , get in the car and drive home you pussy. Don't give me your car keys! You're a god damn adult and I ain't your dad or a hotel.
I once saw a drunken Irish motherfucker drive into a mailbox after leaving my house on my insistence, I closed the door and pretended no one was home. And don't take a taxi either unless your gonna put your car in your back pocket, my street ain't a parking lot.
"McDonald's Co. (Japan) Ltd. said Tuesday that a franchisee running four outlets in Tokyo was using yogurt and shake ingredients past their expiration dates in outlets in Waseda in Shinjuku Ward, Shin-Otsuka and Hongo in Bunkyo Ward, and Minami-Otsuka in Toshima Ward,
The staff who owned up to the misconduct also said they used shake ingredients, sliced tomatoes, yogurt and eggs past their use-by dates, according to McDonald's Japan"
Not suprisin', I've been to both. The Shin Otuska one has a dark mood in a shitty old building with a zombie like Stepford staff. Minami Otsuaka is much worse, inside a really shitty old building, packed at all times, dirty, much smokier than you could imagine and has no external windows. The women's room is down a dark corridor, 5 minutes from Mac with big , scary warning signs up that there is a serial molester loose so be careful and call the cops if you see anything suspicious. As an added bonus, the staff seemed to be southeast Asian with very little comprehension of Japanese or English. My take out order was completly screwed up the time I went. Oy vey. The franchisee must be a real prick.
The King sits, his eyes are glass.
お釜 in the park. Tokyo gays are literally dancing in the streets.
Dancing is a very gay activity to begin with but when you get groups of men dancing together with no ladies in sight it's really, really gay. Add in high maintenance hairdos and shaved torsos as an added bonus.
I'm gonna tap that ass!
The Mating Dance
Most geezers will dance just to get laid, not cause they wanna dance. Unless they are on Ecstasy or some shit. Wearing leather is really gay too. Tight, black leather, being shirtless to show off the ink and bouncing pecs. Ah yeah! Hot, sweaty, hairless buttocks and sachs- hellbent for leather
Here are a bunch of 女嫌い busting moves!
Why were you in the bathroom so long? Doing your hair? Such a woman!! The Tokyo Rockabilly Club is one of the most visible gay groups in Japan! Excelsior!
From religious circles, same-sex love spread to the sportsman class, you creeps wanna play the rape game? Fine, I'll sneak in the window with a knife held in my teeth to do the business, every day will be like the 1860's. You all look tough but no one's afraid of you. You can't even get hard ons without little blue pills. Stop dressing like such badasses you おかま!
Cream of Sum Yun Gai for lunch! Tasty!!
If losing American Treasure , Kevin Dubrow wasn't bad enough, a Christian Washington Redskins player was shot in the groin, his last words were “ not the groin!!” “ shoot me in the eye but not the groin”, The groin is a vague area. Is it the crotch? He was pure, he had a cock he had only pissed through. It's a god damn shame. James Brady gets a head shot and gets to survive as Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable and this poor bitch dies from a cap to the cap and bleeds to death.
Brady gets to spend his golden years on an IV and a diet of Vicodin and Flintstones Chewables, the good life.
If you ever have a hankering for shitty Italian Food you need look no further than Orient Restaurant in lovely Otsuka
Goodnes gracious!
.
Don't go down to the basement
Gordon Ramsey would really go to town here . After the ubiquitous shirt-changing scene, the awkward community outreach, and Gordon ordering the crabcakes. He always orders the goddamn crabcakes. “Welcome to The Taj Mahal.”
“Yes, I’ll have the crabcakes.”
Bizarre in a bad way décor. It's anything but predictable or ordinary, and it's something to look at while waiting to be served A Bust of a Spanish Conquistador , a Knight,
A deer's head , wonky tables with rags under the legs to balance them out, and a damp, musty setting A sign reads translated as, “Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here”. Gordon is going to teach that chump a lesson so they're putting that shit in the wood chipper while he watches his treasure shoot out the ass end all over the place.
A basement location in a low rent part of town is a bad sign, the visibly depressed owner, cute Vietnamese waitress who can't speak Japanese, obviously canned sauce and frozen crust, gummy cheese.
It looks really dirty too,“SPOILED FOOD KILLS PEOPLE! YOU WILL KILL SOMEONE! PEOPLE WILL BE VOMMING ALL OVER THE MOTHERFUCKING RISSOTO! LOBSTER SPAGHETTI! WELLINGTON!” I'd like to check out the kitchen to see all the rotten goodness going on there. Does Japan have a board of health and food safety?? I dunno but they probably do and I am officially calling on them to go here ASAP.
The place was almost empty when I was there, the other table was a couple of creeps drinking. One guy was older and probably trying to get the younger,pony tailed cat to a gay friendly love hotel , which Otsuka also has.
Kitchen Nightmares would give it the glorious restaurant transformation that seems to be awarded to every restaurant in this bastardized version of the BBC/ Fox show. Of course, they love the way it looks now. Takeshi is actually crying about it. Pssst , cunt ! That shit is not yours. Along with the new decor, there is a new menu and a hopefully a newer attitude among them all. They're handing out flyers in the neighborhood to drum up some business for the next evening and they even visit the pachinko parlor and soapland to get those losers to come over and enjoy some dinner.
The cold antipasto is a mound of old iceberg lettuce topped with canned artichoke hearts, canned garbanzos, canned kidney beans, cold , Oscar Meyirsh Italian meats, cheese, marinated peppers and a pathetic, canned black olive.
The vinegary dressing leaves the diner with a severe case of the puckers.
Orient's special salad is a first cousin to the antipasto except that the cold cuts are missing and the cheese is cut in matchsticks. The mixed green salad is another relative. In this case, the cheese is missing. The seafood fra diavolo served over linguine. The sauce has no spark of the devil and the shitty little shrimps are tough.
Added bonus, The wine list actually has "Thunderbird"
The last time I had such bad Italian was in Lassen California, near the volcanic park. People were lined up there to dig on Chef Boyardee “"Only the rich meaty 
sauce of Chef Boyardee can Tame the Beast in you." canned shit. California people are really clueless.
